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Perceptive

April 5, 2011

This blog has been an interesting experience so far. There’s this great line in Woody Allen’s The Curse of the Jade Scorpion when Dan Aykroyd’s character says to Woody’s “You know, there’s a word for people who think everyone is conspiring against them.” And Woody replies, “I know, perceptive.”

Hilarious!

As far as I know no one is conspiring against me. But in the spirit of Woody, every time I hit publish on one of these posts I get heartburn. I also get insomnia, anxiety, temporarily paralyzed by fear, nauseous, and overwhelmed by feelings of self-doubt. All that fuss. It’s exhausting. After my post hits the air I come out of my slump. I wiggle my butt back up to the edge of my chair with my hands tightly gripping the safety rail. I wait in anticipation for what’s to come over the next hump of this ride. I listen intently to the wheels of my roller coaster car go clickity, click, click, click up the rails of a steep incline. My stomach flips into experiencing anticipation, joy, excitement, inspiration, confidence (from god knows where) and tenacity. Just as I inch to the very top of my emotional gain my car teeters and finally tips over to the other side and whoooosh we go again into another decent of insomnia, anxiety…you get the picture.

You might be asking what all the fuss is about? Well it can be darn right nerve wracking putting your personal self out there into the great abyss where anything can happen to it. Once all is said and done and the ride has come to a grinding halt I ask myself, will I do it again? You can count on it. In my defense or denial, some may call me paranoid or neurotic, but to paraphrase Woody, I’d like to call it being perceptive. This has been my experience in writing this blog so far.

Drawing from the sketchbook of Dana Aubrey

© Dana Aubrey, Ink Sketch

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Caron permalink
    April 7, 2011 9:17 am

    OMG ! I feel your anx?? is that how it’s said??? U are so very talented Dana you are such a beautiful writer and your letters have always taken me to far away places I have never been and don’t worry about the reader, indulge yourself! I for one are a very big fan, ha ha, or friend, whatever you call it and I want more of your blog!!! Your letters I laugh and cry and always say at the end ‘gee that girls gotta gift”! I put on my snuggy clothes (urrghh trackies not a good image) ignore the phone, tell the kids to get a life, and indulge myself in your descriptive letters from start to finish. Then of course I reread then from start to finish, brilliant!

    • April 7, 2011 10:13 am

      Dearest Caron,

      How on earth did I end up with such an amazing, thoughtful (and very funny) friend and fan in you? I’m about to get sappy…because you just made me cry!!!! What can I say, I’m an emotional critter. I am so grateful to you for sitting through my lengthy monologues (did I just admit that?!…I mean letters) over the years and for allowing me such sweet indulgences.

      Your support and friendship means the world to me.

      With much love and gratitude,

      d *) xoxoxo

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